"This Halloween thing sounds fun," Broadcast said as he wandered into the med bay.

"Which part of it?" Ratchet asked, accessing the Internet to look up the word even as he spoke.

"Goin' house to house an' yellin' 'Trick or Treat' an' collectin' energy goodies!" Broadcast leaped and flipped his way onto the table where the medic was working.

"Those 'goodies' are formulated for human children. What would you do with them? You cannot consume them -- not that you would need that type of stimulant if you could."

"Naw. I'd give it to Sam an' Mikaela. Sam said I'm a good height for posin' as a kid. Even Rhythm an' Blues could come along!" Broadcast grinned.

"Three times the candy, eh?" Ratchet cast a dubious glance at him. "You do realize, do you not, that you are being used?"

The comms officer shrugged. "So? They get the candy, I get to pretend I'm a human an' not get any weird looks for it."

"Broadcast, among the traditions of Halloween, actual children go trick-or-treating. Sam and Mikaela are considered too old, which means you are definitely too old. Act your age, not your height."

"Aw, lighten up, Ratch! It's just a bit of fun. Plus a cultural experience. I mean, what's the point of givin' sweetened stimulants to creatures whose systems ain't mature enough to process such a high energy input? Why carve up the food source known as a 'pumpkin'? Why are arachnids more frightening on Halloween than other days? Man, you could blow a circuit with these nonsensical things. I say it's just fun!" Broadcast threw a fist in the air for emphasis.

"It does have historical roots that are not centered on overcharging children's systems. I suggest you look them up and take note. Rather fascinating, in my opinion."

"Already did. Pretty cool, but I like the partyin' aspect!"

Ratchet chuckled and shook his head. "All right, all right, I concede your point. If you insist on this, be very careful. You are child-sized but not child built. Keep your torso and limbs covered at all times, even if you have to glue a costume on. I'll figure out how to remove it afterward. And be careful of how you walk."

"Paranoid much, doc?" Broadcast smiled teasingly.

"Being overly cautious is what keeps us safe on this planet. Blow this and I will make sure you are stuck as a stereo for the next two years."

"Hey, hey, no need to be drastic. Half the fun is the disguise." Broadcast skittered off the table before Ratchet could make any other threats.

~*~

Sam picked up Mikaela at six o'clock on Halloween night, going the long way home past the junkyard, pulling over just long enough for Broadcast to pop out from the bushes and usher Rhythm and Blues into the backseat. The two minimechs hunkered down behind Mikaela's seat while Broadcast buckled in behind Sam. He promptly grabbed the plastic bag beside him and pulled it over his head, costumes and all, to hide himself. "Sweet," he said, voice muffled.

Mikaela and Sam laughed. Bumblebee sighed through his radio. "Broadcast, I have to tell you that you are being ridiculous about this."

"Thanks! You do know I'm just bein' silly for the sake'a bein' silly, right?"

"Of course. But if we were anywhere else, I would be embarrassed to be in your company."

"Lighten up, 'Bee. I'd rather you be in my shoes right now, considerin' ev'rything you went through. A little fun after all the war is what we need! So, aaaaannyway..." Broadcast pulled up the edge of the bag to look at Mikaela, since Sam was busy pretending to drive. "Where are we startin'? I figured I'd get the route mapped out so I don't have to spend as much time directin' R&B."

"We're starting on Sam's street, then going to Hamilton Avenue and over to Clove Road after that." She continued to list streets until they pulled into the Witwicky's driveway. Before they got out, Sam addressed the car.

"Bumblebee, you have my permission to lay a smackdown on anyone who tries to egg or TP you." He started to open the door, then closed it and twisted around to view the backseat. "Broadcast, I know my parents have some understanding of you guys, but try not to scare my mom too much, please?"

The small mech had the bag wrapped around him like a hooded cloak. "Now why would I do that?" He quickly unfolded the bag and held the handles like a human would, then waited for Sam to move the seat forward so he could get out, Rhythm and Blues following. They transformed and took their place as a set of speakers behind his shoulders.

He hummed as he carried the bag toward the house, slowing to let Sam enter first. "Mom! I'm back!"

Broadcast grinned and hopped up onto the patio. Mikaela held the door for him. "Thank you, ma'am." He bobbed his head, then together they entered the kitchen where Mrs. Witwicky was stirring a pot on the stove. She turned, a smile on her face. She first saw Mikaela, then paused, confused, then looked down. Broadcast gave a little wave. "Hello, Mrs. Witwicky. It's nice to meet you."

"Oh, isn't he cute! I didn't know they came this small." She reached to pat his head.

Broadcast smoothly danced out of reach. "Sorry, don't mean t'be rude, ma'am, but sensitive equipment and all." He raised his multiple antennae and made them 'wave' at her.

She drew back. "Oh, my, I'm sorry. I didn't know! I'll be more careful from now on."

Broadcast continued to smile, flattening his antennae. "No probs, Mrs. W." He held out a three-fingered hand. With a teensy bit of trepidation and with a light grip she shook it. She was surprised that it felt soft, unaware that he was channeling low-frequency vibrations into it so it would feel that way. Broadcast let go and gave a salute. "Catch ya later, Mrs. W." He turned and followed Sam and Mikaela upstairs, but as he went Rhythm and Blues detached themselves, transformed, and gave Mrs. Witwicky identical salutes while she stood with a hand to her chest in surprise. "Later!" Then they jogged off after Broadcast.

~*~

"Nice work on the sizin', Sam. If I didn't know any better I'd think they were actual human kids!" Broadcast admired the astronaut suits that had been picked out for Rhythm and Blues. They didn't even need fake helmets, their own heads looked made for it with their rounded tops and visors. Broadcast had folded their side antennae down flat to add to the effect, and Mikaela had made semi-circles of styrofoam to cover the bottom of their faces, completing the helmet look.

Broadcast was dressed as a warlock, a wig of slicked-back black hair covering his own antennae and a voluminous cloak with a high collar helped distract from how skinny he was under the black suit. He did have his LED display exposed, shining a red light on his features. He liked the creepy effect. He also had a domino mask on a stick to hide the glow of his optics. While the amount of plating on his face made him have the most human-like appearance out of all the Autobots he still needed to play it safe.

Sam had pulled out some old clothes of his, jeans with holes in the knees and a shirt with a torn-out elbow, and had ripped them up further. He had added fake blood where the holes were, with some added pale makeup in true zombie fashion. Mikaela was wearing an every day black skirt and matching shirt, with green and black striped stockings, ankle boots with thick soles, and a witch hat covered in purple glitter. When she came back after changing in the guest bedroom, Broadcast played a soundbite of the Wicked Witch of the West laughing. "You are lookin' fine, Mikaela! Be my date, will ya? We'd make a better pair than you with Zombie Boy."

"Hey!" Sam protested, feigning offense. "I match fine with her. I came back from the dead for her." He grinned.

Mikaela cackled and imitated a witchy voice. "That's because I took his heart with a spell. He's cursed to walk as the living dead forever."

Laughing, the five of them went downstairs and presented themselves to Mrs Witwicky. She clapped her hands. "Very nice, all of you!" She pressed canvas grocery bags into the hands of the small Autobots and Sam as well.

"Mom, we're not--"

"Shhh," she said, winking at him. "Remember to share, and come home before ten! Have fun!" She shooed them out the door, dropping a miniature candy bar into Broadcast's bag on the way.

"Later, 'Bee!" the comms officer called as he slapped the Camaro's door. Rhythm and Blues did the same. Bumblebee sighed at the childishness, yet chuckled afterward.

"Remember what I said," Sam warned again. "We'll explain it away as a Halloween trick."

"So that one is not played on me, yes," Bumblebee agreed. "Enjoy yourselves."

"All right!" Broadcast exclaimed as they stepped out on to the sidewalk and saw the numerous groups of children scattered amongst the houses, assorted adults milling around and chatting while the kids collected their candy. Mikaela grabbed his mask before it fell and purposely pressed it against his face. He gripped the stick again but looked up at her with indignation.

She chuckled gently. "You really love this, don't you? We haven't even started yet."

"Yeah, sorry...but...man, I love being able to just walk among humans without havin' to worry about becomin' a media circus."

"Then keep that mask up, and let's go!" Mikaela grabbed his free hand and hauled him toward the first house on the left. Sam waited for Rhythm and Blues to go next, making sure Broadcast didn't forget to keep the minimechs in motion.

~*~

Four neighborhoods later the crowds of younger children had gone for the night while the mid-to-older crowd was still out and about. Sam, Mikaela, and Broadcast were having a grand old time. The Autobot had never felt so relaxed before. He was almost ready to convince himself that he was a real human child. He didn't share the thought with Sam and Mikaela.

They entered a cul-de-sac, two houses to either side and a fifth at the end, all generously spaced out. While the four had open yards with short fences, the fifth had high evergreen bushes that made it hard to tell if the porch light was on. A lit jack-o-lantern sat beside the wrought iron gate, however. Broadcast headed straight for it. "That place looks cool. Let's start there an' zigzag our way out."

Mikaela eyed the tall bushes warily. "Sam, have you been here before?"

"Can't remember." Sam scratched his head. "I thought we came here when I was little. Maybe they've had renovations since then."

"C'mon!" Broadcast called. He was at the gate, holding it open while Rhythm and Blues ran through. He darted after them.

Mikaela took off toward the gate. "Okay, now he's acting too much like a kid!" Sam beat her to it and held the gate open for her. "Uhm, no, you can go first, thanks."

Sam uttered an awkward chuckle then entered the yard. He cleared only the bushes before stopping due to the glow of Broadcast's uncovered optics. The Autobot was staring around in amazement at the unwieldy evergreen bushes all across the yard that were accompanied by smaller, bare, scraggly trees. All of them were covered in spiderwebs.

"Nice. Wonder how many bags of that synthesized webbing they went through?" Broadcast strayed off the flagstone walkway to touch a web. Something scurried off a tree branch and onto his arm. "Oop! A real spider!" He raised his arm to watch the arachnid wander along the fabric, waiting until it found its way onto his fingers, then he held it next to the branch. "Back you go. Man, they just need a few more pumpkins an' it'd be perfect."

Mikaela leaned her head on Sam's shoulder. "No porch light. They might be closed up for the night."

Broadcast continued on up the walkway. "Maybe they left a bowl out like that one place. Won't hurt to check, right?"

Sam leaned his head back a little to mutter to Mikaela, "Wonder if it's as crummy inside as it is outside?" She giggled and they ran after Broadcast, an unspoken race to the wooden steps leading up to the door.

They reached it at the same time, and Broadcast looked at them doubtfully. "Eh, no bowl. Oh well." He turned to step down even as Sam peered into the window beside the door.

"Huh. Nobody's dusted this room recently. Wonder who put the pumpkin out?"

Mikaela looked in the opposite window. "Here, either."

Then the porch dropped out from under them.

Three screams echoed until it sounded like there were twenty. When they landed, the floor crackled beneath the weight like dried leaves. It was pitch black and the ground felt like there were far too many leaf stems. Twin blue lights blinked into existence to Mikaela's right. She knew it could be only one thing and started to crawl toward it. The lights brightened until she could see Sam. All the while the crackling sound continued every time one of them moved. Twigs were poking at her hands.

"You two all right?" Broadcast called. His optics dimmed slightly but then he turned on the LED screen in his chest, creating a soft yellow glow. Rhythm and Blues were in place on his back. In another stroke of absurdity, their candy bags were skewered on the strut between them. His costume was in shreds as a result. He directed the light at Mikaela, then Sam. His face took on a horrified look and he pointed the light at his own feet.

Mikaela wished he hadn't. It wasn't dried leaves and sticks they were crawling on. She screamed again, scrambling to her feet and batted frantically at her clothes. Sam jumped up as well with a more subdued noise, although he slapped at the clinging insect husks just as fervently. "Whoa! Okay, I know some people don't clean under their porches regularly but this--" He wiped his hands on his jeans numerous times. "--is pushing it."

Broadcast leaned back, pointing his light upward, brightening it as he did so. It shown up and up without encountering anything. "Sam, we ain't just under the porch. I can't detect the stairs or anything."

"You sure?" Sam asked.

Broadcast shot him an exasperated look. "Sam, I'm--"

"Yeah, I know, sorry. Just hoping, is all."

"Hmm." Broadcast turned, attempting to locate the walls and with luck, a door. To his left was a wall, but not one of wood or cement. It appeared to be a thick layer of cobwebs, with more insect husks dangling in the strands to prove it.

Mikaela backed into Sam. "This is just disgusting! Where are we?"

"There's a door," Broadcast announced, pointing to the wall opposite the cobwebs where a flight of wooden stairs led to a narrow, peeling door. "My sensors aren't picking up anything, so it's probably safe."

"Probably doesn't inspire confidence, Broadcast," Sam chided. He took Mikaela's hand and led her to the stairs. "But we have to go up to get out, so..."

The small Autobot made his way over to them, the beam of light from his chest narrowing as he came closer until it was focused on the stairs, which were fortunately free of dead insects. The humans went first so Broadcast could illuminate the way for them, and he remained a step below so he could keep enough light ahead of them. Sam grasped the door knob, then glanced at Broadcast. "Do you have a laser gun or something in case there are more spiderwebs?"

"Sorry, I ain't armed."

"Great. Okay, here goes." Sam turned the door knob, shoving the door open and releasing the knob to shield his face from any surprises. The door banged into the wall loud enough to reverberate through the house.

"Good job," Mikaela hissed, peering past him to the empty hallway. "If there is anyone home, they definitely know we're here."

"You two want me to go first? Your heart rates are runnin' pretty high," Broadcast offered. "Or should I keep the light behind you?"

"Better if you lead," Sam said, dropping any pretense of keeping his dignity. "We could end up scared of our own shadows."

"Okie-dokie. Let's go then." Broadcast slipped past them and stepped up into the hall. Mikaela followed right after, and Sam brought up the rear, closing the door very carefully. There was a doorway to their immediate right and Broadcast turned, then paused, frowning. "This should face the front of the house but there ain't no windows. Guess those stairs didn't lead all the way up. Gotta be another staircase somewhere."

He cast his light over furniture that was covered in drop clothes -- and plenty of dust. Small cobwebs occupied every corner, and seemed to form a curtain of their own over an old television set, its stand, and the floor lamp next to it. The webs draped a doorway to the next room. Broadcast calmly pushed them aside. The next room was bare. The floorboards creaked as soon as he put a foot down over the threshold. He took another step, then the antennae array on his head stood straight up. "Mikaela," he whispered, "Where's Sam? I don't hear him."

She instinctively put a hand on the mech's shoulder as she turned to look behind her. Sam wasn't there. "Sam?" she called quietly. "Sam? Where are you?" Broadcast turned to shine his light into the room they had just left. It was greeted by a wide swath of cobwebs that had not extended that far just a moment ago. "Sam?" She hesitated, then tried to push the webbing aside. It billowed outward but did not part.

Broadcast took Mikaela's hand from his shoulder and held it, then moved to push at the webbing with his other hand. This time it parted. He brightened his light as he shined it around the room. There was no sign of Sam. Everything was as it had been before.