Whisper a Dream

[Author's Note: Woo, quasi-songfic! I couldn't think of the best way to end this chapter, but fortunately I had music on hand that inspired me. ^_^ The song is very slightly reworded, but still basically resembles "Still She Cries" by Journey on the Trial by Fire album (Actually, you'll see they've inspired a lot for this fic, heheh. ^_^ ). Lines from the song are in tildes and brackets, [ ~ like this ~ ]. | Title is a variation of that of episode 25. | Dub completely abandoned here. Beware of strong language and a bit of gore. ]

"...One life cut down by fire
One child's angry desire..."

-Journey, "One More" (Trial by Fire)

Quatre woke in a cold sweat only to have a stabbing sensation rip through his chest a minute later. He gasped several times, then clutched at his heart. After a few moments the feeling ebbed, but with no immediate explanation he could only panic from fear for...
As he stared into the darkness, he imagined he heard a voice. "Quatre, it's time." He felt inclined to answer,"I know." He lay still for several moments, then threw the blankets off and staggered for the door. A stray thought made him pause. He glanced at the small table next to the bed then went over to it, rifling through the single drawer it held. He felt a need for haste, yet if Duo or Trowa came looking for him, he couldn't leave them without a clue to follow...

"No!"
LunaAria was gone by the time he reached the mobile suit storage area. He dashed over to Sandrock and first thing punched in a tracking command once he was inside. Large object, going eastward...He headed up the tunnel and prayed she hadn't put a lock command on the hidden entrance. He was shocked to find she hadn't even sealed the door all the way. He tapped the panel beside the stone slab allowing just enough time for Sandrock to slip out. A blip on the righthand screen showed that he had to hurry or else he would never catch up to her.
Alexa, why didn't you let us come with you? We should help each other...There is always a chance for hope, he thought stubbornly.

Something startled Trowa from sleep, what seemed to be the dying echoes of an alarmed shout. Wary, he slid a small pistol from its customary sheath inside his righthand sleeve and started for the doorway. He waited five seconds in case whoever it was ran into the lounge next. Then he cautiously leaned out to look down both ends of the hallway. No sign of anyone. With gun at the ready he slipped down the corridor toward the sleeping quarters.
Light snoring came from one of them. Nobody disturbed here, Trowa thought wryly. He tapped the handle to open the door. He wasn't surprised to see Duo sprawled on a cot, mouth hanging open and braid in disarray. Trowa sighed and dismissed the thought of firing at the wall just above the American -- might alert any intruders. He settled for poking Duo's shoulder with the end of the gun instead -- and received an unexpected reaction.
The braided pilot sprang up, whipping his hand forward to hold a pocketknife an inch from the other boy's nose. Duo blinked then retracted the blade. "Trowa! Man, don't do that! You scared the Hell out of me."
Trowa kept his face completely blank, hiding the fact that Duo wasn't the only one to be startled. "Something's wrong. We should check on Alexa and Quatre."
"Okay...give me a minute." Duo was momentarily distracted tending to reweaving his disheveled braid.
Trowa clenched his jaw and turned to leave, fed up with the American's duplicity. The door across from Duo's room was slightly ajar, so he checked that one first -- and frowned when he saw that the bed was empty except for a piece of paper lying on the pillow. He went over and snatched it up. The tidy, precise writing was brief. 'Alexa and I are going to the OZ base...I will return.'
"Yo! Alexa's gone!" Duo's alarmed voice hollered from the hallway. He walked in then blinked with more alarm. "Uh, Quatre too?!"
Trowa clenched the note in his fist. "You can guess their gundams are gone as well." He pushed past the braided boy, his swift pace exposing his worry as he headed for his own mobile suit.

Alexa looked up as an alert whistled over LunaAria's main screen. Large object approaching from the west. An enemy suit? She didn't have time for petty battles, having expected to catch the base by surprise. No such luck. She sighed and slowed to a stop in the midst of a grassy field, turning so the main camera could pick up the details on the object; she growled in frustration when the information came on screen. Sandrock. She typed in a command to link directly to the other gundam. "Quatre, turn back now. No one needs to interfere."
"Alexa, please...you don't have to be alone!"
"Damn you." An image of the girl appeared on the upper right corner of Sandrock's main screen. Quatre narrowed his eyes, wondering at the accuracy of the resolution -- her skin was nearly white against the dark color of her tank top. "Go back. I won't tell you again."
"No, Alexa. I want you to have hope again. We can renew the studies at the lab--"
"Quatre. It's too late for that." She seemed to hesitate, then unwound the bandage around her left arm, then the other, and even tugged the strip of cloth up from under the tanktop to bare her shoulder. Quatre stared in horror. Purplish bruises marred her skin in splotches where the bandages had been, and a circle of dried blood glared from her shoulder.
"By Allah..." he swore, tears coming to his eyes. "Oh, Alexa..." She cut the visual link, leaving the voice comm on.
"Leave, Quatre. There is nothing else anyone can do." LunaAria began to move in the direction of the OZ base again.
Quatre quickly manuevered his gundam to stand in front of her. "You shouldn't have to die violently!" he half-sobbed.
There was no answer...until about a minute later when he found the beam cutlass aimed at Sandrock's main camera. "Get out of my way. I will do it."
Quatre choked in surprise. Her tone was dead serious. He quivered as he gripped the controls for support. Then he made a decision and in a lightning fast move grabbed a heat shorter and parried the cutlass. He took up the other as she slashed at Sandrock again. Caught between the twin blades, she seemed to have already lost. But then she brought up LunaAria's free arm and let the hand hang down. The panel shifted back and the sonic cannon rose from its casing.
"Don't make me do it, Quatre. Just leave!" He grimaced and withdrew the heat shorter. However, before she could begin to recover the cutlass, he lashed out at the sonic cannon, not suceeding in detaching it but still causing it to crack and fizzle loudly. Alexa swore. The cannon retracted into the arm. She switched the cutlass to that hand and raised the other cannon, this time guarding it with the beam weapon. "Just try that again," she growled.
Tears were tracing a path down Quatre's face, yet again he put up the heat shorters. The cutlass stabbed forward and he blocked it easily. He twisted one hand to slam the pommel down on the wrist holding the cutlass. An angry crackling filled the air but LunaAria did not yield; instead its free hand shot out to clamp onto the second heat shorter, holding it immobile. Joints groaned as the two attempted to outpower each other. LunaAria released the 'shorter only to scrape the cutlass across Sandrock's arm. Sparks flew. A harder thrust followed, but this time Quatre blocked it, scissoring the twin blades around the hilt of the cutlass. Alexa took advantage of the situation and shoved the functional sonic cannon right up against Sandrock's helmet.
"Damn it, stop wasting what time I have! Do you think I prefer to die fighting you?!" The 'shorters fell away when the full force of her words hit him. Would that have meant...he would have been the one who killed her? LunaAria took the moment to lower the cannon to the other gundam's cockpit door. "Now...this close you won't be as lucky as before. I don't want to kill you...You are needed, Quatre -- they need you. The other pilots need you! I've made my decision and I want to help the gundams one more time. I won't die in vain. And I won't die sitting still, either." The visual link reappeared as Quatre watched with a pained expression; her skin was now ashen-gray and her nose was bleeding lightly. "Now please get out of my way..."
He reluctantly stepped aside, sheathing his weapons. LunaAria burst to life as its verniers rockets carried it past the other gundam and across the length of field to the OZ base. Quatre gripped Sandrock's controls until his hands ached but even then did not let go. He uttered a sob and swung around to view the doomed base.
The explosion that followed rocked the ground. He could see the shockwave coming toward him. He didn't move. It hit his gundam, making it convulse, but he remained steadfast. Two, three, four seconds. Ten. Twenty. And then he screamed. Sandrock toppled as he lost hold of the controls. His soul cried out...Alexa!! Why is life so cruel?!
The light faded, the lesser shockwaves ended. He was slumped back in his seat, gasping as he struggled to breathe through the various pain racing within him -- emotional agony as well as the now-familiar ache in his heart.
"Oh, shit!" came a voice over the comm that could only be Duo. "Don't tell me that was Alexa...shit..."
"Quatre? Quatre, can you hear me?" Trowa's voice, almost laced with concern, came next.
He responded in a weak whisper, "I...I can hear you..."
"Shit." Duo swore again.

When it was clear that what was left of the base was considered by OZ as not worth investigating, the three went down to check the destruction for themselves...as if in the distant hope that by some miracle Alexa might have survived...
"You're dreamin', kid," Duo muttered as he kicked at what might have been part of a sonic cannon. Quatre was too far away to hear; he was constantly reaching to look under bits of rubble but too afraid to actually touch anything. Trowa had been the only one brave enough to venture near the blast's epicenter.
"This is pointless," Duo called in a louder voice. His tone had gone cold. "We're not gonna find anything. I say we head back to our separate hideouts. There's nothing left for us to do and I'm sure other missions are wait--"
His rambling monologue was interrupted by Trowa calling to them. Quatre drew a sharp breath then ran headlong toward the voice. Duo hesitated, then scrambled to outrun Sandrock's pilot. This could become an even worse disaster very easily...When Duo rounded a bend and saw the form lying on the ground near Trowa he broke into a frantic sprint and overtook Quatre, dodging in front of him and grabbing his shoulders to stop him in his tracks. "No, Quatre, don't look! Don't..."
The blond boy struggled to free himself. "Duo! Let me go!" He uttered an angry sob. "Please, Duo, I have to..." His struggle was in vain; Duo was ever stronger.
"Don't look," the braided pilot hissed. "Trust me, you don't want to stare death in the face..." Quatre looked into Duo's eyes, violet orbs that suddenly exposed a reflection of the pain that had caused him to become Shinigami. But also revealed there was a fear for Quatre.
The blond boy clenched his fists, a scowl ripping away his tearful protests. "Why is everyone always trying to protect me?!" The accusation caught Duo off guard and Quatre used the chance to slug him across the face. Then he slipped past the dazed boy, only to freeze as he saw Trowa tucking a blanket around what had once been Alexa. Blood soaked through the cloth on contact. "No..."
"Shit," Duo spat out, thinking that he had failed.
Quatre sank to his knees, overcome by the shock. "W-why...Why are good people dying..."
Duo went over to him, rubbing his cheek and wincing. "I told you not to look," he said softly. He crouched next to the other boy. "C'mon. Nothing we can do now..." Quatre could only shake his head in denial. Duo hauled him to his feet. "C'mon, kid." He started to guide him away. "Y'know, you got a real mean punch there..."
Quatre suddenly jerked away from him, running back to Alexa, this time kneeling by her. He started to reach out, his fingers grazing the blanket -- but then Trowa caught his wrist. Quatre looked over at him, ready to make another angry outburst yet he hesitated when he saw the look in Trowa's eyes...so blank and...deadened...Quatre pulled his hand back, his gaze falling to stare in morbid wonder at the faint tint of red marring his fingertips. Alexa's blood. The hand shook. He clenched it into a fist. Alexa, was hope truly so lost? He uttered a sob. Why do good people have to die?
As he sat there, a faint sound like the wind sifting through leaves brushed by his ear then grew to a soft whisper. Quatre...cry only for the pain I suffered while I lived. Cry not now that I have been released from my suffering... He stiffened imperceptibly. His other hand slowly moved to his heart. There was no pain, only a slight warmth. Finish our mission for me, angel...
Pressure on his shoulder made him lift his tear-streaked face. Duo's visage was almost as empty as Trowa's. "C'mon, time to leave." Quatre looked to the ground again, giving a start when he saw nothing more than blood-stained dirt. "Trowa is taking care of that." The statement was almost cold.
Quatre shakily rose, holding a silence to himself. Duo's change in behavior was eerie, and Trowa's calm indifference made him nervous. How could anyone be like that? He didn't understand just then, although he wondered what kind of wars they had fought before coming to Earth. Quatre glanced toward the sloping hillside that lay beyond the perimeter of the destruction, some of the trees remaining unharmed by the brutal violence created by man. It's peaceful in the forest. I hope she can find rest there.

The three pilots parted ways from there. Trowa didn't say another word to either of them. Duo seemed to be getting back to normal, waving cheerfully at both boys before disappearing into his gundam. Quatre thanked the two and waited for them to leave. Then he turned Sandrock back toward Siberia. It wouldn't matter if he was several hours late getting home -- he had a damned good excuse after all.
He had no trouble remembering which portion of the cliff would open the hidden entrance, although Sandrock seemed to lean rather wearily into the stone. The tunnel was now dark and the light from the gundam's main camera was dim, but he continued on anyway. The tromping footsteps echoed all the way down to the storage room. How lonely... He left the cameras on as he exited the suit so he would have enough light to find the lockers. There he fished out a flashlight -- and ignored the coats. He couldn't deny the biting cold, but he resolved to not care.
He followed the beam of the flashlight down the corridor toward the rooms. Except for his footsteps there was nothing but silent blackness. It might have unnerved him at any other time but now it mirrored how he felt -- alone, cold, and spirit darkened. He flicked the light into an open doorway -- the lounge. He entered the room, trying to suppress memories from mere hours ago.
They should have made an alternate plan immediately. He had seen in her eyes, he had known deep inside what she would do. He should have stopped her right then.
One of the others had left a coat on the floor. He gingerly picked it up and slipped it on; the cold really was too much for him to bear. He took one last glance around then headed for the other rooms.
Two more doors were gaping open, one to the room he had slept in and from the messy state of the other he guessed it was Duo's. He reached for the door beside the latter, but something made him turn to the last room instead. The handle clicked softly as he opened it. Nothing but darkness within, of course. He passed the flashlight around the walls. He pondered why the beam seemed to be wavering, then he focused on his hand which had been trembling without him even noticing. He switched the flashlight to his other hand and stared down at the now empty palm. Quatre stood silent and imagined he still saw the blood on his fingertips. Was he still as innocent as everyone thought him to be? The tremble took root throughout him and he had to clench the hand into a fist in fear that he was imagining too much -- it had appeared the blood was spreading over his entire hand. He forced himself to forget it and focus on the room again.
Lying in the midst of rumpled blankets was a scrap of paper. Again his hand was shaking as he reached for it. The light also quivered so that he could barely read the hurried writing. Several spots on the paper seemed warped. She was crying when she wrote this...
[ ~ Tears that she kept from me ~ ]
Quatre, I know you will find this eventually. I wanted to thank you one last time. I want you to know that you brought peace to my heart, even if it was only briefly...
[ ~ Somewhere those broken dreams ~ ]
I haven't any choices left. I know you would want things to be another way, but this is my fate and I have accepted it.
[ ~ Where life once used to be ~ ]
Again I thank you, and I wish you to feel no guilt over what you could not change. Your heart is very pure and does not need such a blemish.
[ ~All in a memory ~ ]
[ ~ With time we are forgiven ~ ]
[ ~ In time we will forget ~ ]
Go now, angel. The others will need you, so keep safe. Be strong, spaceheart.
Quatre held back a sob. He supposed she wouldn't have wanted for him to cry. He turned the paper over in case she might have had any other words for him. His brow furrowed when he saw the five cryptic and even bizarre scrawls set down there. Keep watch for the spider.
"Something she...dreamed..?" he muttered aloud. Has to be. If only she had received an explanation with the vision... He folded the paper and placed it in his pocket. He turned to leave, and didn't look back. Sandrock was waiting patiently when he arrived at the storage room. He gazed up at the visor, to the dimly lit green eye-like cameras. The suit never seemed to judge him as it did when assessing others that approached it. He was grateful for that much. "Lend me your strength, my Sandrock. I need to learn to be more solid, and not waver from the path I chose..." He shed the coat and climbed into the cockpit, settled into the seat, and set his sights on his Earthen home. Even as he left the hidden base behind, he swore to keep its secret safe. Perhaps it could yet be of use, once this war was over and there was time for such things; too late to save one who mattered most, but no sacrifices should be made in vain...
[ ~ Tears that she kept from me ~ ]
[ ~ Someone she used to be ~ ]
[ ~ Forever young then suddenly ~ ]
[ ~ A hope she can't remember... ~ ]
He did turn one last time to gaze at the frozen Siberian wilderness.
[ ~ I wish I could forget... ~ ]
He kept the scrap of paper with him always.
[ ~ Still she cries ~ ]
[ ~ Softly ~ ]
[ ~ Still she cries... ~ ]
[ ~ No one knows...when friends will fall away... ~ ]
[ ~All in a memory ~ ]
[ ~Where sweet life once used to be... ~ ]

Stormfront, Chapter One: Shamed Warriors - Targeted.

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(c) 2000-2004 Autumn Loweck. This work may not be copied, distributed, or reprinted without the author's permission. Characters of Alexa and mech LunaAria are property of Autumn Loweck (aka Shiri) and may not be "borrowed" or mentioned in other works without notifying the author first. Characters of Quatre R. Winner, Duo Maxwell, Trowa Barton, and the OZ organization belong to the creators of the GundamWing series, Sotsu Agency, Sunrise, Bandai, and whoever else in Japan involved in this most cool anime.