[Author's Note: Quatre's POV on what happened. Read as first person, present tense, no dialogue spoken; takes place during "If I Am" and overlaps slightly with "Everything"]

I thought I had it all planned out perfectly. I didn't think I would waver. My conscience made me so resolute. It also walled away the thought of friends. They were completely out of the equation.
And then there was the variable that I never considered. Hmph.

I can't be losing sleep over this, no, I can't
And I cannot stop pacing
Give me a few hours
I'll have this all sorted out
If my mind would just stop racing

Did I just yell at Trowa? Yes, okay...I apologize -- I do that. It stopped helping my conscience years ago.
You love me? Okay. I know that. I believe you. But I can't speak just yet. You can be calm all you want. I'll just be irrationally upset, as usual.

'Cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening

Quatre, you have to calm down, I tell myself. It isn't doing any good -- what, crying because you failed again? What a thing to fail at. Hmph. Fine.

This is over my head but underneath my feet
'Cause by tomorrow morning I'll have this thing beat
And everything will be back to the way that it was
I wish that it was just that easy

He isn't going to give up on me. See, there's that strength I mentioned. He isn't going to give up on me, and he secretly didn't want to give up on himself. That's why I could reach him. Because...
Because...
No. I can't admit that yet.
Something else.
. . . . .
Tears taste so salty.

'Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in between
What is real and just a dream

I think I'm cold. Can't be the poison. I didn't swallow any. How'd he do that, anyway? I didn't think of gun-variables. I've been stabbed before, and had my insides shaken up really bad before, but I've never been shot. I've been shot at but the attempts were a bit pathetic. Trowa wasn't aiming for me, but maybe I could have taken the bullet to finish the job.
Actually, that would have been even more stupid. That would give Trowa my complex, and maybe he would do what I was going to do. And then we would be together again.
Oh, but he doesn't belong in Hell.
. . . .
What am I talking about?

La-de-da-de-da-de-da
What is real
La-de-da-de-da-de-da
Just a dream
La-de-da-de-da-de-da
What is real
La-de-da-de-da-de-da
Just a dream

He saved me because he's strong, and I trust that strength, since he trusted me to reach him because...
Because...
Because...
Life. Can't give up on it. Been through so much...just to see the world as it is today...
That's it.
Oh, God.

Would you catch me if I fall out of what I fell in
Don't be surprised if I collapse down at your feet again
I don't want to run away from this
I know that I just don't need this

I apologize again, more gently -- more broken -- this time. You forgive me? Okay. I'll believe that for now. Your arms are warm. You won't let me lose myself again. Okay. I can try to hold together.
It's so tough, you know. No, wait, you can't know, not to an exact extent, of how these emotions feel to me. They're always lurking there, waiting to make me slip...
Oh, so there they are again.

'Cause I cannot stand still
I can't be this unsturdy
This cannot be happening
Yeah

I-want-to-rest-I'm-tired. And I'm cold, because I know they'll come back. I can't speak right now. Trowa, you trust me, right? I can talk later. Right now...just hold me. You're warm, and you remind me of life. So now I can rest for a while...sort things out...after I sleep...

'Cause I'm waiting for tonight
Then waiting for tomorrow
And I'm somewhere in between
What is real, just a dream
What is real, just a dream
What is real, just a dream
What is real, just a dream

You trust me, right?

(c) 2001 Autumn Loweck. This work may not be copied, distributed, or reprinted without the author's permission. Characters of Trowa and Quatre belong to the creators of the GundamWing series, Sotsu Agency, Sunrise, Bandai, and whoever else in Japan involved in this most cool anime.