[Author's Note: Follow-up to "If I Am"]

Upon reaching a state of semi-recovery, Trowa helped Quatre move to the east-facing parlour, where the blond sat down on the sofa with a quiet sigh, resting heavily against the side pillow and looking away from Trowa. The latter left to scrounge up some coffee, expecting a long night of talking. He returned with two mugs which he set down on the glass table in front of the sofa. Quatre didn't acknowledge them. Not to be discouraged, Trowa sat down right beside him.

Find me here
Speak to me
I want to feel you

He reached for Quatre's hands.

I need to hear you

The blond tried to turn away further but there was nowhere to go.
"Quatre...Humor me and talk a bit, hmm?" There was more that Trowa wanted to say yet words failed him. You helped me once -- you showed me what life is. There has to be hope remaining somewhere inside...

You are the light
That is leading me
To the place
Where I find peace again

Quatre shifted to regard him, an apologetic look mixed with his momentarily distraught visage. He allowed him to take one hand and clasp it in reassurance.

You are the strength
That keeps me walking

Trowa smiled softly and placed his other arm around the blond's shoulders. He was also attempting to communicate his unspoken words with his eyes.

You are the hope
That keeps me trusting
You are the life
To my soul

Quatre spoke quietly, "Let's just sit, okay? I...I can't speak of it more, just yet..."
"Whenever you're ready."
"Thank you."

You are my purpose
You are my everything

The blond tentatively lowered his head to lean on Trowa's shoulder, soon shifting to rest over his heart. Trowa stroked his hair lightly, still attempting to be reassuring.

And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this?
Yeah...

A short time later he realized that Quatre was falling asleep. He slowed the brushing so as not to disturb the peace that was settling.

You calm the storms
And give me rest

The blond was conscious enough to squeeze his hand, returning the gesture of acknowledgement.

You hold me in your hands
You won't let me fall

Quatre glanced up at him once before nestling closer.

You still my heart
And you take my breath away

Trowa freed his hand so both arms could form an embrace. So talking wasn't an issue just then...but there were things he wished to know.

And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this?

The last of the sun began to fade as twilight took over the sky, next replaced by moonlight. Its blue illumination dressed the two figures in comforting shadows, sheltering them from their troubled thoughts if only for a little while. But sometimes a short respite is all that one needs to find peace with oneself.

And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this?

Trowa dimly felt his arms loosening as he, too, slipped toward sleep. He would have preferred to stay up all night and watch over Quatre...just in case...
Yet when worry should have tugged at his heart, he found that he was the one feeling reassured. He could feel Quatre's slow, rhythmic breathing, and the gentle weight of his body, and a sense of beloved comfort that had settled over them both. Suddenly Trowa was grateful and elated all over again for having found this gentle being who had accepted him as himself.

'Cause you're all I want
You're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want
You're all I need
You're everything, everything
You're all I want
You're all I need
You're everything, everything

And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this?

He wasn't aware at first that he was dreaming, since he was surrounded by the same blue-tinted darkness that had made up the parlour. Slowly he realized that the rolling shadows spread out infinitely. Moving toward him through the mists was a form in light blue, almost cyan. As it neared he somehow recognized it as Quatre; within minutes features took shape, becoming the familiar soft smile he was so used to seeing. His body remained mostly blurry.
What is--? His words were only a thought as he currently had no voice. He took a glance at his hands on impulse -- they were as indistinct as Quatre's, and of a dull reddish hue. He glanced at Quatre with enough of an expression to convey his confusion.
The blond only reached for his hands.

And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better, any better than this?

Instead of halting as their hands met, the cyan merged with the red, creating a soft violet. Trowa once again tried to speak. What is this place?
The place where souls rest. Quatre's smile was warm. He drew away, returning the colors as they were.
This is a dream. He knew things like this simply weren't real. He turned to watch the drifting shades of dark blue.
At least it's peaceful. Quatre's form swayed slightly, his face becoming indistinct then resolving back again.
Trowa needed to question the lapse. What is it?
The blond moved close again, reaching his arms forward in an embrace. Know me. Understand me.
Violet was formed again. Hundreds of thoughts and feelings flowed into Trowa's mind, giving him glimpses of the things that cannot be put into words. All of Quatre's anger, sadness, joy, self-loathing, wishes, dreams...intense guilt...hatred...repentance...And something saved for last, something no words described better than the ultimate trust and love -- the faith he could have in Trowa, allowing him to see all these things.

And how can I stand here with you
And not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be
Any better than this?

He wondered if Quatre was similarly viewing his own thoughts. Base instinct made him want to close off that part of his mind but then he gave pause. There was no shame, if Quatre could trust him so much, then it wouldn't be bad if the feeling was mutual. Yet the borrowed emotions began to recede. When the violet haze was gone he regarded Quatre questioningly.
No obligations. The blond smiled as he drifted back. I sensed you wanted an answer. That's the best I could do.
The blue mist surrounding them started to close in, obscuring Quatre's form until he disappeared. Another light blossomed elsewhere, and Trowa opened his eyes. Sunrise spilled through the curtains of the parlour's large picture window. He made an attempt to get up but paused when he felt a weight on his chest and side. Quatre, still nestled against him, was untroubled in sleep. Trowa brushed away a stray lock of blond hair and decided that the circus could live without him for the day. Quatre sighed in his sleep.

Would you tell me
How could it be
Any better than this?

(c) 2001 Autumn Loweck. This work may not be copied, distributed, or reprinted without the author's permission. Characters of Trowa and Quatre belong to the creators of the GundamWing series, Sotsu Agency, Sunrise, Bandai, and whoever else in Japan involved in this most cool anime.